If I were president.. With special guest blogging cat, The Cheat.
My fellow creatures,
The Cheat here, with a very presidential message for you all…
First of all, if I were president there would be much stupendous awesomeness and probably rejoicing around the world. That’s how powerful the message of The Cheat can be. Mostly because of the whiskers.
I, The Cheat have a simple philosophy of presidenting. First, make no promises. You never know what The Cheat is gonna do. That’s the risk. At least, I’m up front about it. Like cleaning the back end. Someone has gotta do it and it’s not The Cheat, okay? That can be the vice president’s job. Figure it out.
With The Cheat as president, you’re gonna see some big changes. Changes in you, not me. Mainly I’m gonna flop down here and get relaxed. That’s just how I rule. What a world we live in… Wars and and slavery and hunger. The Cheat is all about peace and freedom and eating. Everyone can take a nap too, that would be good.
Sometimes, things get rough. I know you want a president that can bust out some sudden violence and take control. The Cheat is a one hundred percent expert in attacking from a lying down position. It’s all about the disembowling kick. Another fancy technique is I just lie down on top of whatever is the problem. That takes care of a lot of things.
So there you have it. Lie down. Sing for freedom. Eat food. Rub this fuzzy belly. Basically get relaxed that’s what I’m saying. Everything is better when relaxing. That’s The Cheat’s presidential way.